It’s just like God to send me a gift from someone who once rejected me on a book about rejection. The book is called Uninvited by Lysa Teurkeurst. The gift-giver is aware of the past rejection and hurts that were once against me, and there’s been healing and forgiveness, but it was definitely a comical surprising for me. First, I thought, “Good thing I don’t need this book, I’ve worked through all my past hurts of rejection!” (which is true, but I didn’t know what was coming) This person was right on and in tune with the Holy Spirit. Monday I received the book and, by Wednesday, I had a new experience in rejection. Thankfully, I was 3 chapters in. I dove right into the next 4 chapters because it was like they were wrote specifically for me at that time. Word for word, I couldn’t read them fast enough to calm and sooth my aching spirit. The Father worked through and used this book so efficiently and effectively in my heart (still is!). But let me tell you, it has not been an easy journey to walk through.
Let me rewind. That new relationship that has brought on a fresh new interaction with rejection was someone I look up to and admire. She is someone I would consider a mentor friend, a friend who’s older and wiser than me, but we weren’t in an official mentoring relationship, just casually getting to know each other slowly as we interacted in leadership. It was clear to me that I felt that way toward her by asking her for advice, opening up to her on things I don’t normally ask or tell others, and thanking her for her time and encouragement. We had also prayed together several times over important things. I have no one to blame this recent uncomfortable reaction but assumption and friction that happens in all relationships. It was heartbreaking though, here her vocalize thoughts she had had towards me over the last 6 months that were nothing short from awful. I was mortified. Hurt. Angry. The list goes on and on. Thankfully, my husband was in the room when we were on the phone so I could be calm and collected. The phone call ended okay, but it was so hard for me to agree to disagree and know she had seen me in a light that was contrary to my very existence. We have since then interact civially, but it’s been tough for me to know what to do in this situation.
What I’ve learned so far from this:
Be very careful what you share with others, even if they are legit in their relationship with God. I admire this person’s prayer life and family life, but I had no idea she was still dealing and working through her own past rejections and healing. It came out as we continued to talk after this confrontation. Basically, don’t trust a struggling alcoholic to keep you accountable if you’re a recovered alcoholic! You need someone who is spiritually and more emotionally mature in that area, whatever it is you are dealing with. I assumed she was healthy in all her relationships. This became radically clear she has steps to continue on in her healing process, which is okay, but wasn’t helpful for me as I am continuing on and moving through my own wounds from the past. I pray God used me to help her realize she has some unturned rocks.
Something I learn from the book, Uninvited that has been the biggest eye-opener and game changer for me. “Fight for her.” So simple. Lysa Teurkeurst has loads of wisdom, all throughout the book, but this small sentence has radically changed the way I look at any fight, especially among believers. It was different than the, “Love your enemies and pray for those that persecute you” (Matthew 5:44) verse that I’ve heard a thousand times and have to struggle internally to process. It’s based on Ephesians 6:12, “for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Just because you’re right and she’s wrong, doesn’t mean that you can walk away and forget about that person. It isn’t even about that person! It is purely that Satan does not want there to be peace amongst brothers and sisters in Christ. He is trying in every way, shape, and/or form to tear us all apart and blow our testimony of love to the world! Especially amongst leaders, which both of us are in different ways. Wow. I was humble and yet filled with so much peace knowng this.
Fighting for her meant praying for her. Lysa also encourages to list out all the positive attributes of that person and praise God for them. So I did. Such a hard thing to do when there are fresh wounds, but I know it has helped this small scab heal a lot faster. I didn’t have to tear it up and apply that ointment later. It was already open, and so I “bit the bullet,” so to speak, and just let it ooze onto the throbbing gash. Yes, it burned, but there was relief to follow. “We have a common enemy. I have a choice to see that or not. To live truth or not. To fight for her and against the real enemy or not… And I make my choice.” It is just that, folks. A choice. I want to live out my calling and love for God and make the right choice. Fight for her, fight for him, fight for them, and possibly through the Power of the Holy Spirit. Hallelujah.
Do you feel you have rejection from the past you haven’t dealt with?
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